Facts About Women

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they
feel like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is
irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair
game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of
clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you
can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an
effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need
to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so
successful.
8. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get
men arrested.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around
when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside.
And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only
tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a
chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what
she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that
they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different
conditioners in the shower.

16. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical
rain forest.

17. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek
entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek
entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things *could* be.

18. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of
clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-
day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll
feel like wearing each day.

19. Women brush their hair *before* bed.

21. Women are paid less than men, except for Modeling.

22. Women are *never* wrong. Apologizing is the mans
responsibility, "It's there in the bible". hmmm who was it that gave
Adam the apple?

23. Women do *not* know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't
stick?"

24. Women have better rest rooms. They get the nice chairs and red
carpet.

25. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

26. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.

27. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend
for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will callthe same friend
and they will talk for three hours.

28. A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants, to
empty the garbage, to answer the phone, to read a book, or to get the
mail.

30. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility
of getting lost using a shortcut.

31. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I
look?'

32. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think
it means that. PMS also stands for Punish My Spouse. )

33. The first naked man that woman see is "Ken".

34. If it is not Valentines day, and you see a man in a flower shop,
you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you
do?"

35. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be
let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those
rights.

36. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-
hand turn.

37. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-
language than it does in man-language.

38. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

39. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to
the direction that they are heading.

40 All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them
about it.

40 All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them
about it.

43. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good
china".



i'm proud 2b a women!!!